Managing Imposter Syndrome

I was recently speaking with a talented friend of mine. She runs a successful business in the fashion world, and has raised two wonderful and kind children. She also serves as a mentor to many (myself included). Even after all of her successes, she still feels as though it could end at any minute and notes that she has been “lucky.” While luck can help, I think my friend is forgetting to acknowledge that she has been the driving force of her success. Her creativity, passion, and dedication to her business is probably what has really helped her. Cue: imposter syndrome.

I later thought about another conversation I had with another friend who downplayed her recent accomplishments. These included starting her own PR company while working full-time and taking care of a young child. While I appreciate how these friends are so humble, I can’t help but wonder if they might be experiencing imposter syndrome.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

The Harvard Business Journal reports that Imposter Syndrome “can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence. This doubt override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence. They seem unable to internalize their accomplishments, however successful they are in their field. High achieving, highly successful people often suffer, so imposter syndrome doesn’t equate with low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence.”

I think it’s easier to recognize Imposter Syndrome in others. Noticing it in ourselves requires recognizing our thoughts. It also means that we might need to offer compassion to ourselves, and ultimately forgiveness. It might also help to be reminded that many people struggle with this.

Tina Fey has acknowledged her own battle with Imposter Syndrome in her book Bossypants: “The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud! Oh God, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!’ So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud.’ The amazing Maya Angelou admits to feeling this way as well: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”

How to Manage Imposter Syndrome

Another way to manage our own Imposter Syndrome is to remember all the things in our lives that we are doing well. Our brains are actually programmed to think of the negative a lot the time (it’s a survival tactic). When you find yourself ruminating down a perfectionist rabbit-hole, pull yourself out of the negative mindset. This part requires your conscious effort to redirect your energy elsewhere and engage in activities that bring you more peace. It might be a good time to go for a walk, listen to an inspiring podcast, or even call a friend.

Lastly, talk to your therapist. The therapists at Maria Droste Counseling Center are here to listen and support you as you learn to wade through any Imposter Feelings.

Written by Molly Ritvo